


Shenko Appreciation Week 2015 Compilation

by elvhen_renegade



Category: Mass Effect
Genre: Angst, F/M, Fluff, Shenko appreciation week
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-01
Updated: 2016-01-01
Packaged: 2018-05-10 22:54:30
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 5,879
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5604037
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/elvhen_renegade/pseuds/elvhen_renegade
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>All of the short stories I made for Shenko Appreciation Week on tumblr.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Day 1: First Encounters

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A first encounter with Kaidan and Shepard. This could be a first meeting, a first kiss, first time fighting together, or some sort of AU! Let your imagination run wild!

               Blue Shepard wasn’t good with words. Never had been. Words could get caught in the space behind her tongue, or get mixed up coming through her lips. Words were unpredictable.

               But sometimes…

               The lieutenant was standing by the medbay, datapad in his hand. Blue swallowed. _Walk up, tell him you need to talk, invite him to your cabin. No. You don’t need him getting the wrong impression. But what will he think if you say ‘we need to talk privately’?_

               “Shit.”

               Steeling herself, Blue pushed away from the bulkhead and set her shoulders back. The lieutenant looked up at her approach. His mouth curled into a tiny smile, and Blue’s heart jumped. She returned the smile and stopped in front of him, just a little closer than she’d usually be. She folded her hands behind her back to hide the fact that they were fisted tightly.

               “Need something, Shepard?”

               “Do you- can we talk? Privately?”

               Kaidan blinked. “If that’s what you want.”

               Blue nodded. She turned and gestured for him to follow her to her cabin. The voice in the back of her head kept whispering that this was going to go to shit, that she was going to fuck up her words, that Kaidan was going to listen to two words and say ‘no thanks’. She pushed the thoughts away and stepped into her cabin.

               Once the doors has slid shut behind them, Blue turned. Kaidan was watching her, composure firmly in place. Blue stepped forward. She forced her expression into what she hoped was something comforting. It probably looked like she was in pain.

               “I- look, I’m not very good at this, but I need to say something,” she started, keeping her gaze even on Kaidan’s face. “I care. About you. As more than just a friend. And I know anything between us would break regs… But I thought you should know that I don’t care.” There was a pause. “About regs! I don’t care about regs. I care about you…”

               Her eyes had drifted down to look at Kaidan’s left knee. As her voice drifted off, Blue lifted her gaze back up to his face. Somewhere along the line, his composure had begun to slip. Instead of watching her with a cool, almost detached look, it was something else. Something Blue couldn’t figure out just by looking through the cracks.

               “Shepard-”

               “I don’t want you to… to feel like you’re obligated to say that you ca- that you feel the same. If you don’t.” Blue closed her eyes and pinched the bridge of her nose. “Shit. I’m not saying this right.”

               She felt a hand on her arm. Blue’s eyes snapped open. She stared around her fingers at Kaidan, who was looking at her with the softest look she’d ever seen on him. It was a look that smoothed out his face completely, working out the lines around his eyes. It made him look younger than he was.

               “I don’t think it’s an obligation if I feel the same.”

               Blue’s breath caught in her throat. “You…”

               “I care about you.”

               “Me too.”

               Kaidan smiled, a full one. His hand was still on her bicep. He squeezed it lightly. Blue’s lungs constricted.

               She took a tiny step forward, then another when Kaidan’s hand tightened on her arm.

               “Are you alright? With regs and everything?” she added quickly. _Please be okay. Please, please be okay. It’s okay if you’re not, but please._

               “For you? I think I’m alright with breaking a few regs.”

               Blue smiled. “That’s… good. Great.”

               “Yeah?”

               “Yeah.” A few moments later, Blue added, “What happens now?”

               Kaidan shrugged, a gesture he aborted halfway through. Blue bit the inside of her cheek. If he didn’t want anything more, she’d be okay with that. It was enough knowing that at least he cared for her. If he decided it was too much of a risk, especially when every eye in space was watching them, she’d understand.

               “I don’t know,” Kaidan said after a moment.

               Blue’s heart jumped. Even with the pep talk, she could feel the disappointment growing in her chest, weighing her heart down like a krogan sitting on a varren.

               Kaidan leaned forward, hand warm through Blue’s shirt. “Let’s figure it out?”

               “Yes. Definitely.”

               Kaidan nodded, still grinning, and let his hand drop from Blue’s arm. As he turned to leave the cabin, Blue snaked her arm through his and pulled him back. On her tiptoes, she kissed his cheek. Kaidan’s smile shifted into a small, pleased curl of his lips. He opened his mouth to say something, but closed it with a small shake of his head and walked out of the room. Blue thought she saw a bit more of a swagger to his walk.

               Once the door slid closed, Blue sank onto the nearest flat surface and buried her face in her hands. Her cheeks felt hot, and her fingers were shaking worse than after a mission. Vanguard nerves. She could charge a geth destroyer and not feel a lick of fear, but the second she was off the battlefield? It was like she sixteen again.

               The shake in her fingers, though. It wasn’t a tremor borne of fear. It was just adrenaline with nowhere else to go. And adrenaline could come from good places too.

               Blue smiled into her hands.


	2. Day 2: Why Don't You Break Me Heart?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A day to really let the angst flow. It could be about Shepard’s death, the war, recovery, anything. Shatter our hearts!

               The hospital was too quiet and too loud, all at the same time. People talked in the reception room, quietly, or loudly, or hardly at all. No one talked around the patients. They just whispered. _‘Will they be okay?’ ‘It doesn’t look to good.’ ‘They’re gone.’_ Words not meant to be said any louder. Blue tried to convince herself that the words were for other patients. Patients that wouldn’t hurt her if they were gone.

               It didn’t work.

               The receptionist had said the first door on the right. The walls were glass. From her angle, Blue could only see the foot of a bed. The nurse standing by the wall. A table on the other side of the door.

               Her heart felt like a chunk of iron in her chest. She wasn’t even sure if it was beating at this point. If it had been beating at all since they’d left the Sol system. Since she’d had to watch her planet be invaded and watched Kaidan nearly… Nearly die.

               Blue opened the door, smiled at the nurse, and turned towards the bed. Her breath caught somewhere in her chest.

               Kaidan was bad. Blue hadn’t paid much attention to his appearance on the flight to the Citadel. She’d been too worried about making sure he was still breathing, still there, to care about how he looked. There were dark bruises around his eyes, across the bridge of his nose, filtering out over his cheekbones, splashed across his forehead. One side of his mouth looked like it had been bleeding earlier.

               The nurse said something quietly and left. Blue barely paid attention.

               There was a chair by one wall.

               Blue pulled it towards the bed and sat.

               She pressed her forehead against her clasped hands.

               “I’m sorry.”

               She closed her eyes, squeezed them tight enough that the black side of her eyelids turned to speckled startlight. Her iron heart weighed down her words.

               “I’m so sorry.”

               Blue glanced up to check if Kaidan had moved. If he’d shown any sign that he could hear her. He hadn’t changed. Blue sighed, unclasped her hands.

               “About everything,” she said, slipping her hand over Kaidan’s limp one. “About Horizon, about never trying to contact you after, about… about Mars. And Earth. I’m sorry for all of it.”

               Blue thought back to Horizon, to the Collectors, to her two missed years. Maybe if she’d been faster, she could have stopped this. If she hadn’t been so set on finding a way to take down Cerberus from the inside and had just done what she was brought back to do, something could have changed. Maybe if she had, she wouldn’t be looking at Kaidan – bruised, pale, somehow broken – lying on a hospital bed. Maybe she’d be looking at a coffin.

               Blue shook her head. If that was close to what Kaidan had felt when she’d died, Blue would never stop trying to make it up to him. That’s what she’d though after Horizon, why she’d never tried to contact him after… after everything. Dying on him once would have been hell. Dying twice… she couldn’t even imagine.

               Blue squeezed Kaidan’s hand. “I never wanted it to happen that way. I wanted… I wanted to go and find you. First chance I got, you were my goal. But then Horizon happened and you- you said… And the Collectors…”

               The door opened behind her. Blue looked over her shoulder at the nurse.

               “Excuse me. I just need to check his charts,” the nurse said, already striding across the room to a monitor posted by the bed. Blue waited. Somehow, even with the beeping monitors and the nurse humming under their breath, the room felt as quiet as a grave. The nurse never looked at Blue, but their eyes caught on her hand tight around Kaidan’s. Blue thought she saw a hint of sympathy – or pity – in their eyes when they left.

               She sighed, shoulders sagging. “I don’t blame you. For thinking I was with Cerberus. Even with what we found out about them. When they ki- how they murdered my squad on Akuze. I would have thought the same. But… But I never would have. They murdered a lot of good men in the ‘name of science’. That’s not good. Not right. I know how it looked, though. I’m not mad.”

               The next words got caught in her throat, like they always had before. Blue wondered if there would ever be a time they wouldn’t.

               “I love you. Never stopped. Each time I see you it’s like the first time we met. I thought someone had punched me in the chest. Just seeing you again…”

               The door slid open again. Blue looked back to see the nurse, this time with a doctor. It was probably time to leave. Blue nodded at them and stood to leave.

               Before she did, she leaned over Kaidan’s still form and kissed his forehead. It wasn’t like he was awake to complain.

               “Wake up soon. Please.”

               Her shoulders were thrown back and straight as they always were as Blue left the room, but it was so, so hard to keep them that way. She glanced back one more time before heading back to the Normandy. From this angle, she couldn’t see Kaidan’s face.

               Blue couldn’t tell if that was a good thing or not.


	3. Day 3: We Are Family

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Do something involving Shepard, Kaidan, and their families. You can interpret that anyway you want to. It could be their parents, their children, chosen family, etc.

               There had been a ‘no work in the bed’ rule at one point. It hadn’t lasted two days. Kaidan had reports from his spec ops students, Blue had all the information Liara forwarded her on a daily basis, and both of them had various Spectre duties that usually kept them up for long hours. Sometimes it was nice to be able to lay in bed and work together.

               Blue was laying across Kaidan’s chest, datapad propped up beside his shoulder. Kaidan held one of his own above her head. Blue could hear his heartbeat as she scrolled through a report on the Crucible. There was progress, but everything felt months too slow when the reapers were murdering millions every day. Blue sighed.

               Kaidan dropped a hand to Blue’s back. “You okay?’

               “Yeah.”

               Blue lifted her head as Kaidan shifted beneath her. He’d dropped his databad onto the mattress, and used both hands to brush Blue’s hair away from her forehead. Blue smiled softly.

               “You ever think about kids?”

               They both froze. Kaidan’s expression suggested that he hadn’t actually meant to say that. Blue watched him for a moment longer, until he raised an eyebrow. Blue shrugged.

               “Not really? I never thought- I didn’t know if I would make it to that point.”

               Kaidan frowned. “Really?”

               “I didn’t think I’d make it through Mindoir. Biotic training. N7 training. Akuze. The collectors. It seemed like the universe was just saying ‘no’.”

               “And now?”

               Blue placed her hand on Kaidan’s chest – right above his heart – and took a deep breath. She’d always thought of children in that offhand way. _‘I won’t ever have them. But if I did…’_ They weren’t a reality for her. Sometimes, Blue wasn’t even sure if she could even _have_ kids, after Cerberus’ modifications and who knew what else.

               “I don’t know,” she said eventually, glancing at Kaidan through her lashes. “Do you? Want kids?”

               It was Kaidan’s turn to go quiet.

               “I think I would. After all of this is done.”

               Blue hummed, more of an acknowledgement that he’d said something than anything. Her fingers spread across his chest, contracted, then spread again. After a moment or two of that, she leaned forward and kissed Kaidan.

               “I think I’d like that,” she whispered against his lips. “With you. On Earth somewhere. Or out in deep space. I don’t really care.”

               Kaidan grinned. “Yeah?”

               “Yeah.”

               “How many?”

               “Two. Or three.”

               “Names?”

               Blue leaned back. That part she’d thought of. She had names picked out. A lot of names. More names than she could ever need, really. She ran them through her head, one by one.

               She opened her eyes and said, “Emma. Ashley. For a girl.”

               “Emma?”

               “… My sister.”

               Kaidan’s arms tightened around her back. “For a boy?”

               “Devon. Harper. Milo.” Blue settled back against Kaidan’s chest, cheek against his sternum. Thinking about having kids someday felt good. Having them with Kaidan made the prospect seem even better.

               “Do you have any names?” she asked into his skin.

               “A few.”

               The thought of having kids felt like _hope._


	4. Day 4: Things Have Changed For Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A day involving a major change that Kaidan and Shepard have encountered or gone through over the course of their relationship. It can be physical, emotional, mental, etc. Show how that has changed them as people and their relationship.

               There was music playing softly in the main cabin, barely louder than the shower. With her head immersed in the water, Blue couldn’t hear it at all. The water swirled with shades of red, brown, and black on its way to the drain. Blue watched the colors mix as she ran a hand through her short locks in a half-hearted attempt to clean them. Every part of her body hurt like an old bruise and the bullet graze on her calf made standing on two feet hurt like a bitch.

               The shower door slid open. Blue looked over her shoulder to see Kaidan standing in the doorway, sans shirt. His hair was wet, not yet slicked back like usual. Blue liked it better like that. Wayward strands fell on his forehead, making him look younger.

               Kaidan crossed his arms and leaned against the doorway. “You okay?”

               “Nothing some medigel won’t fix.”

               Kaidan’s raised eyebrow wasn’t impressed. His eyes roamed across Blue’s body. It sent a shiver up Blue’s spine. She wondered what he was thinking, with his brows close together and a small frown set on his mouth. She wanted to ask what he was looking for. If he noticed the changes in her from before. If he could tell how much she wanted to just curl up and let the world die.

               “Are you okay?” she asked instead.

               Kaidan raised his eyes to meet hers. “I’m fine.”

               “Good,” Blue said, scrubbing at her arms. She had something black caked on her hands. Grease, maybe. It came away with enough pressure.

               Fingers on her back made her freeze. Looking over her shoulder, Blue found Kaidan with that small frown on his face, running his fingers gently down her back. Blue swallowed.

               “Your scars…”

               “I-” Blue hung her head. “Cerberus.”

               “They just… took them away?”

               “Yeah. Every one but this,” Blue said, gesturing to the scar on her face, running over her nose, eyebrow, and cheek. “I guess they thought no one would re-recognize me without it.”

               Kaidan’s fingers traced back up her back. Blue could imagine the scars he would have traced two years ago. The old, faded scar tissue in long strips down her back. Permanent memories of Mindoir. Or at least, they had used to be. Cerberus had taken those memories from her. Maybe it had been a good thing. Maybe not. Either way, they were gone, and Blue could never get them back.

               Turning to face Kaidan, Blue reached out to take his hand in both of hers. She brought it to her lips and kissed his knuckled. Kaidan sighed.

               “Blue. Are you okay?”

               Blue laughed mirthlessly. “Probably not. They just- they took everything away, and they didn’t even bother to… to ask.”

               “Hey,” Kaidan said, lifting Blue’s chin with his hand. “I know you never told me the whole story, but I don’t think you miss those scars.”

               “No. Not really. But, they were _me_. I had them for so long, and they’re _gone_.”

               Kaidan let go of Blue’s hands and pulled her into a tight embrace. Blue wrapped her arms around his waist and let him hold her. His pants were probably getting soaked, but feeling his arms around her shoulders was comforting in a way she hadn’t felt in months. Blue pressed her face into Kaidan’s bare chest.

               Into her hair, Kaidan asked, “Where did you get them?”

               “Mindoir. When the batarians roun- took everyone. I- I tried to resist.”

               She felt his intake of breath. “They whipped you?”

               Blue nodded in lieu of answer. She pulled away just enough to be able to look down at her mark-free stomach. Before Cerberus had gotten a hold of her, there had been a deep scar on one side of her stomach, and shrapnel scars on her hip. Instead of old scar tissue, there was a new scar beside her navel where she’d taken a collector bullet and a handful of pock-marks on her ribs from being pieced back together. But nothing from her life before Cerberus. None of the little, everyday scars on her arms or legs but for the ones she’d gotten after she’d woken up. It felt almost like she was a whole new person.

               Kaidan was frowning again. “Does talking about it help?”

               “Some. Thank you.”

               “Of course.”

               Blue took a deep breath. “Kaidan, I… I love you. You know that, right?”

               Kaidan raised his eyebrows, but a grin crept onto his face. He bent and kissed Blue, soft and oh-so sweet. Blue leaned into the kiss, fingers tight around his hips.

               When he pulled away, Kaidan pressed his forehead to hers. “I love you, too.”

               Blue smiled and closed her eyes. It felt like years since she’d said those words to a comatose Kaidan laying in a hospital bed. The memory of his bruised face still gave her nightmares some nights. But he was there, he was alive, and even with everything that had changed for them, they were together.

               Blue could live with that.


	5. Day 5: Celebrate Good Times

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A day to realize that not all of the things that they have gone through are terrible. Portray a time that Kaidan and Shepard have celebrated together. It can be anything: holidays, a wedding, the end of the war, etc. Have fun!

               The council had given Blue a temporary room in one of the fancier hotels on the Citadel. Blue suspected it was more of a ‘sorry we didn’t listen to you’ gesture than an act of simple courtesy. She didn’t really care, though. The bed was soft, the view was amazing, and the room service was better than anything she’d eaten in months. Blue hadn’t eaten anything else – or left the room – in two days.

               There was a knock on the door. Blue opened it to find Kiadan standing on the other side, hands behind his back. He smiled at her and withdrew a paper bag from behind him.

               “Hey,” Blue said, stepping aside to let Kiadan in. As he passed, he leaned over and kissed Blue’s cheek. She bit her lip to hold back a grin.

               “I haven’t seen you in a while,” Kaidan said, closing the door behind him. “You okay?”

               Blue nodded, taking the bag from him. She hadn’t seen Kaidan in over three days, between the hospital visits, debriefs, and interviews. Everyone wanted to get to know the ‘first human spectre, hero of the Citadel’. Blue had taken to conducting the interviews in the hotel room. That way she could kick them out whenever she wanted.

               Blue opened the bag and looked inside. Takeout cups full of noodles and side dishes from one of the fancier places in the wards. Blue turned to look at Kaidan with a raised eyebrow.

               “How did you manage to get this? I thought they didn’t to takeout.” They didn’t. Blue had checked. They were also booked for months out.

               “They were very interested in catering to the ‘Hero of the Citadel’.” Kaidan’s grin became devious. “I may have told them you were very disappointed that you couldn’t visit your favorite restaurant in person.”

               Blue laughed as she set the bag on the bedside table and wrapped her arms around Kaidan’s neck. “You’re devious, Lieutenant.”

               “Anything for you, Commander.”

               Blue pulled Kaidan’s head down and kissed him. It was a slow kiss; not like the hurried, heated ones before Ilos, or the ‘thank god you’re alive’ one as they were taken to the hospital. There was no time limit to the kiss, no ‘we might not get this chance again’ to sour the feeling of Kaidan’s lips against hers and his hand between her shoulder blades. 

               When they pulled away, Kaidan set his forehead against Blue’s. For a long moment, they just stood with their arms around each other, breathing the same air.

               Blue opened her eyes. “Thank you. For the food.”

               “You’re welcome. Are we going to eat, or…?”

               “What happens if we don’t?”

               Kaidan laughed. “I think we could figure something out.”

               “I might just take you up on that offer,” Blue murmured, pulling him back own for another kiss. When they parted again, Kaidan stepped back just far enough to keep Blue from reeling him back in. Blue frowned at him until he shuffled forward again.

               “I didn’t lie to a professional establishment for the food to go cold, you know.”

               “If you had to _lie_ …”

               Kaidan snorted and reached over to snag the bag from the bedside table. Blue grabbed his hand and brought it to her lips. She raised an eyebrow at him as she kissed each knuckle. Kaidan sighed, but his other hand tightened around her hip. Blue smiled.

               “They make takeout so you can heat it up again,” she said to his fingers, taking the time to kiss his fingertips.

               “Blue.”

               “What?”

               “You’re making it very hard to feed you.”

               “Then stop trying.”

               Kaidan shook his head, then slipped his fingers through Blue’s and pulled her close again. With their hands clasped at their sides, he kissed her languidly. Blue let herself relax into it. Four days ago, she wasn’t even sure if she’d survive her fight with Saren. Being able to have Kaidan close was a small miracle. She had to tell herself that not everyone she loved died. They’d gone through hell, and Kaidan was still beside her.

               As she pulled him towards the bed, Blue realized that she could be happy for more than just defeating Sovereign. She could be happy for simply being alive, being in love, and being with someone who loved her back.


	6. Day 6: The Last Goodbye

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Years are so long and so much can happen over the course of one or two of them. Portray a time where they have had to say goodbye to someone they loved or to each other.

               The trip from Illium to Mindoir had been short, relatively speaking. Blue had spent most of it sleeping. Officially, she wasn’t supposed to be out of the hospital for another two weeks, but when you’re the savior of the galaxy, you have a little bargaining power.

               As it were, Blue still couldn’t stand on her own without a little help. The doctors thought she might never be able to stand on her own, period. She’d been given a special, custom made cane that Joker had promptly started calling the ‘bitch stick’, as Blue was prone to hitting people in the shin with it when they annoyed her. AKA, when they were being a bitch. He’d even found a way to get it engraved on the handle when Blue was recovering from one of her many surgeries.

               Mindoir had been informed, of course, of Blue’s impending arrival, and had rolled out the metaphorical red carpet for the event. Hundreds – maybe even a thousand – had shown up to ‘welcome their hero home’. At least, that’s what the loudspeakers were saying as Blue stepped off the transport ship, a hand around Kaidan’s elbow. He’d insisted on travelling with her. Blue wouldn’t have had it any other way.

               “…. _survivor of The Raid and the bloodbath Akuze, Hero of the Citadel, Savior of the Citadel, and a native to our…_ ” the speakers blared. Blue gritted her teeth and concentrated in descending the stairs without embarrassing herself. Beside her, Kaidan smiled thinly.

               “You okay?”

               “You’d think people would… would get tired of bringing up the most traumatic parts of my life,” Blue hissed, plastering on a smile as she finally made it to the ground. The crowds were kept at bay by a barrier, but the sound was almost deafening. Already, a headache was beginning to press at her temples.

               Kaidan placed an arm around her waist. “Want me to handle this?”

               “No, I can- I think I can handle a little speech,” Blue said, leaning heavily on the bitch stick. “Just, get me out of here quick?”

               “Aye aye, Commander.”

               Blue elbowed his side, then cursed as she almost lost her balance. His arm tightened around her. Ahead, Colonial President Pritchard stood behind a podium, hand outstretched towards them. Blue sucked in a deep breath and made her way –slowly, somewhat painfully – towards the podium and hundreds of cheering colonists. Hell, some of them had probably come from off-world. Blue hoped she could hold out long enough to hightail it to the complementary hotel room.

 

\---

 

               After the welcome ceremony, the welcome dinner with the Colonial President and various other important persons, the check-up with a doctor, and a short interview with a few local news stations, Blue finally managed to escape. She had a purpose for coming back, not just the publicity and good food.

The late afternoon light made long shadows of the gravestones standing cold and uniform on the hillside.

Kaidan had offered to stand back at the cemetery gates, but Blue had pulled him along with her. It had been eighteen years since she’d set foot on Mindoir, but some scars never healed.

Third row back, fifteenth down the row. Three headstones. They were a bit fancier than the surrounding ones, made of a pinkish stone and engraved with scrollwork around the top.

Jonathan Shepard.

Eve Shepard.

Emma Shepard.

Three names, three headstones, three holes in Blue’s heart.

Kaidan shifted his weight beside her. “Do you want me to stay?”

“… Stick close. In case.”

“Okay.” With a parting kiss to her forehead, Kaidan turned and walked back down the row. Blue watched him until he reached the end of the row. When he crouched to read one of the headstones, Blue turned back towards her family.

Leaning heavily on her cane, Blue blew out a long breath.

“I’m sorry. I never came to the funeral. Or came to visit.” She paused, words heavy on her tongue. “I thought about it. A lot. Especially after A… after Akuze. And then after the Citadel. I guess I just didn’t have the guts.”

Swallowing, Blue looked down at her feet. “I fought reapers on foot, but I couldn’t come visit. Funny, huh? I just. It was too painful. More painful that getting spaced… or blown up.”

“I missed you. I missed working on that tractor that always broke down. I missed you making me sew socks. I missed…. I missed playing in the surf.”

Blue stopped and wiped her eyes. It was so much more difficult than she’d imagined. She’d thought she’d be strong enough. But all she could feel when she looked at the headstones was pain. Her father’s body falling in front of her, her mother screaming as his body hit the ground, clinging to her sister as a gun smashed into their mother’s skull. Emma laid out on the grass, bullet holes in her back because the Alliance had arrived and the slave ships had already left.

The tears were hot on Blue’s cheeks.

“I thought I’d get to see you, after I got spaced. Staring at the Normandy, oxygen running out. And I just thought, ‘ _at least I’ll see Mom and Dad and Emma_.’ Then Cerberus brought me back. And I was too worried about the collectors to think about you. That’s what was running through my head in London, too. ‘ _I do this, I’ll see them again_ ’. I wanted to be done. To just let go. To be with you and not have to worry.”

“I guess it wasn’t my time,” Blue said with a wet laugh. “But I’m here now. And I’m sorry. I’m sorry it took so long.”

Crouching as much as her leg would allow, Blue pulled three things out of her pocket and placed them at the base of each headstone. A flower made of softly-glowing crystal, a tiny model Alliance cruiser, and a smooth, green-and-red-and-orange seashell that had been in Blue’s pocket the day the batarian ships landed.

Blue straightened and laid her hand softly on each headstone in turn.

“I… I love you. Even though I came to say goodbye. I should have let you go a long time ago. It just took a few deaths to realize.”

She stared at the headstones for a moment longer, then turned and limped down the row of graves to where Kaidan stood, expression guarded. When she reached him, Blue slipped under his arm and started leading him towards the cemetery gate.

“You okay?”

“Getting there.”


	7. Day 7: A Coffee Shop AU (But Not Really)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> To close out the week, we’re going to have a little fun. It might be a bit of a challenge, but I think you guys might be up for it. Put them in a situation that appears to be a “cliché” AU. But throw in a twist. Make it so the same old same old isn’t exactly the same!

               Blue Shepard slammed into the café, breathing in great gasps. She paused in the entryway and braced her hands on her knees to catch her breath. When she could breathe without feeling like she was going to fall over, she straightened and looked around.

               There was a man behind the counter.

               A very attractive man.

               He had one hand on the cash register.

               And one on his gun.

               Cursing, Blue scrambled for her pistol and jerked it up. The man hadn’t raised his. Blue stared.

               “Want some coffee?” the man asked, wry smile on his face.

               Blue narrowed her eyes. “What?”

               “Coffee?” The man sighed. “It was a joke.”

               “Oh.”

               “Are you gonna keep pointing that at my face or are we gonna be civilized?”

               “Oh, uh… okay?” Blue slowly lowered her pistol, but kept it in her hand. The man had holstered his gun and was walking around the counter, picking his way over broken chairs and pieces of ceramic. He stopped in front of her and held out a hand.

               “Kaidan.”

               Blue hesitantly slipped her hand into his. “Blue.”

               “I’d ask if you wanted to sit, but the chairs are… well, I don’t think these can be called chairs anymore.”

               Blue snorted, then ducked her head in embarrassment. She shouldn’t have been laughing at him. She didn’t even know him. He could have been planning to kill her and loot her corpse for all she knew.

               Blue dropped Kaidan’s hand and took a tiny step back.

               “What were you running from?”

               “What?”

               Kaidan eyed her, one brow raised.

               “Oh,” Blue said. She was saying that a lot. “Ferals. A whole mess of them over by the library.”

               Kaidan nodded slowly. “That explains the blood.”

               “The… shit!” Blue shoved her pistol into its holster and grabbed her arm. There was a series of long scratches on her forearm. Blue hadn’t even noticed in her haste. She hadn’t even notice the pain that was sinking like needles into her skin. That was definitely not good. The last thing Blue needed was to die out in the middle of nowhere from radiation poisoning.

               A hand landed on her elbow. Blue jerked back.

               “Sorry,” Kaidan said, stepping back. “I can take care of that, if you want.”

               “Why would you?”

               “I’m always willing to help a damsel in distress?”

               Blue shook her head, a tiny grin tugging at the corners of her mouth. After a moment’s hesitation, she held her injured arm out to him. The chances of getting an infection and the chances of Kaidan suddenly deciding to kill her were almost even. Worst case, she died quickly instead of agonizingly slowly.

               Kaidan smiled and held a finger up in a ‘wait’ gesture. He leaned over the counter and pulled a box out from behind it. It was a pre-war medkit. Blue raised her eyebrows at him.

               “Come on, it’s all there. I found it right before you barged in.”

               “Convenient.”

               “You’re telling me.”

               Blue picked her way to the counter and held her arm out again. Kaidan took it, studied the wounds for a moment, then began to dig around in a small pack on the counter. Blue’s eyes widened, noticing the pack for the first time. It was like a pre-war backpack, with one strap missing and more patches than she could count.

               “Here we are,” Kaidan said, pulling Blue’s attention back. He’d pulled a small bottle out of his bag and was in the process of pouring it over Blue’s arm. Blue hissed as the cool water hit her arm. Kaidan ignored her in favor of pulling various things out of the medkit and slapping them on Blue’s arm.

               Most of them stung.

               “How- shit, that hurts! How can I know you’re not just gonna kill me? When you’re done?” Blue asked as Kaidan began to wind a bandage around her arm.

               Kaidan raised an eyebrow. “Would I waste good medical supplies on someone I wanted to kill?”

               “I- no. I guess not.”

               “Glad we cleared that up then.”

               “Then… why are you helping me?”

               Kaidan sighed and leaned back, releasing Blue’s freshly-doctored arm. He was watching her, mouth pulled up on one side. Blue narrowed her eyes, waiting for something bad to happen. It always did.

               “I don’t know,” Kaidan said finally. “Maybe I just wanted to help another survivor. Maybe I’m tired of people just going around and killing each other all the time.”

               “Oh.”

               “Anyways, you’re all set. Try not to get into more trouble.” Kaidan grabbed his pack and swung it over his shoulder. Blue opened her mouth to say something, but couldn’t think of anything to say. Instead, she watched Kaidan pack up the rest of the medkit and shove it in his pack.

“Well, see you around,” Kaidan said, that wry smile on his face again. With one last look over his shoulder at Blue, he headed towards the door. Blue bit her lip and watched him leave.

               Just as he grabbed the door handle, Blue stumbled forward and grabbed his arm.

               “Wait! I think- Maybe we could stick together?”

               Kaidan turned, a real smile on his face. “Stick together?”

               “For a while,” Blue replied, trying to sound casual. Her wavering voice didn’t help. “For protection. And I’m sure you- we could both use someone to watch our backs. And…”

               “Sure.”

               “Really?”

               “Are you coming?”

               Blue smiled, nodding vigorously. If he hadn’t decided to kill her yet, maybe she could trust him. And maybe she just wanted to follow the strange man with a sense of morality in a world that had lost its own.

               Either way, she’d probably regret it later. But for the moment, having someone to watch her back after running alone for so long felt nice. Felt a little bit more like ‘normal’.


End file.
